There is so much about life that is unreal and dreamlike. Moments come when we find ourselves asking the questions like 'Who am i?', 'What is life all about?', 'Why am i here?'
I feel so small and insignificant and wonder deep down if I matter. In the eyes of the state I am just a number, one among many millions. How can i be of any importance?
I look in the mirror and am sometimes startled by the stranger who seems to be staring back at me.
I am alive, I must be. I go to school, I talk to people, I eat, I go to bed and sleep, and then wake up the next day. It all suddenly seems so pointless and empty. Time rushes by. Birthdays come and go and I wonder where the years have gone.
Where do I fit in all this? I seem to be going nowhere fast.
The universe is so cast. The endlessness of space is so frightening. Even our Earth looks a mere speck as we hear of starts and galaxies millions of light years away. Yet here on Earth for the first time in human history we have the ability to blow it and everything in it to pieces. The whole thing seems like a sick and senseless joke.
I go to the funeral of someone I know, killed on the road. I hear of a friend struck down with cancer in the prime of life and I suddenly thought, 'that could be me.'
Most of the time I try to sweep all these thoughts away as I slip back on to the merry-go-round of life with all its passing attractions.
But the fears and aches and uncertainties will not go away. All the time they are still lurking just below the surface.
All i want is to be happy. As long as I have a home, a family and friends, and enough money to do what i like when i like - life is good. I'm fine. But deep down I know these things do not satisfy. I try to shut from our minds everything unpleasant. We don't want to look too closely at ourselves for fear of what I might find out. And so the days and weeks and years of my life drift by with ever increasing speed.Then some tragedy strikes. The happiness I long for vanishes like the morning mist.
《雨季》
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 / 5:59:00 PM
Went to watch《雨季》 Was dead tired, cause we watched until 11 plus pm. It was really really good. The lyrics of the songs. The band. The singers. The story. The whole play. IT WAS REALLY REALLY GREAT!
I missed 《天冷》 Really want to catch it. Guess it will be as great!
It just take a lil' effort. a lil' of your sincerity.
i need a hug. D:
觉得自己是多么的渺小
Saturday, August 07, 2010 / 9:47:00 PM
Feeling very very lethargic these few days. Guess i over stress myself. And too tired. Feeling unwell these few days. My head is pounding, really badly today. I puked. And it sucks when you're sick and you mum tell you that you are troublesome. Cause you puked on the floor and she has to mop the floor. Nah. It just sucks.
Didn't go school today. Went to SGH instead. Yeah, hand surgery department. THEY ARE REALLY SLOW! I booked an appointment, to get the queue number, and wait more -.- What's the point of booking appointment?! Things were...fine, i guess. Doctor says the same thing over and over again. Yes' there may be a lump. Yes' it might me lying on the nerve. Yes' it causes pressured nerves. Heard that many many times. Waiting for the next appointment date for ultra scanning and conduction nerve test then we will know the next step. Troublesomeeeee! SGH IS SO FARRRRRRRRRRRR!
/I'm learning to...
You say you really know me
You're not afraid to show me, what is in your eyes
There is so much about life that is unreal and dreamlike. Moments come when we find ourselves asking the questions like 'Who am i?', 'What is life all about?', 'Why am i here?'
I feel so small and insignificant and wonder deep down if I matter. In the eyes of the state I am just a number, one among many millions. How can i be of any importance?
I look in the mirror and am sometimes startled by the stranger who seems to be staring back at me.
I am alive, I must be. I go to school, I talk to people, I eat, I go to bed and sleep, and then wake up the next day. It all suddenly seems so pointless and empty. Time rushes by. Birthdays come and go and I wonder where the years have gone.
Where do I fit in all this? I seem to be going nowhere fast.
The universe is so cast. The endlessness of space is so frightening. Even our Earth looks a mere speck as we hear of starts and galaxies millions of light years away. Yet here on Earth for the first time in human history we have the ability to blow it and everything in it to pieces. The whole thing seems like a sick and senseless joke.
I go to the funeral of someone I know, killed on the road. I hear of a friend struck down with cancer in the prime of life and I suddenly thought, 'that could be me.'
Most of the time I try to sweep all these thoughts away as I slip back on to the merry-go-round of life with all its passing attractions.
But the fears and aches and uncertainties will not go away. All the time they are still lurking just below the surface.
All i want is to be happy. As long as I have a home, a family and friends, and enough money to do what i like when i like - life is good. I'm fine. But deep down I know these things do not satisfy. I try to shut from our minds everything unpleasant. We don't want to look too closely at ourselves for fear of what I might find out. And so the days and weeks and years of my life drift by with ever increasing speed.Then some tragedy strikes. The happiness I long for vanishes like the morning mist.
《雨季》
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 / 5:59:00 PM
Went to watch《雨季》 Was dead tired, cause we watched until 11 plus pm. It was really really good. The lyrics of the songs. The band. The singers. The story. The whole play. IT WAS REALLY REALLY GREAT!
I missed 《天冷》 Really want to catch it. Guess it will be as great!
It just take a lil' effort. a lil' of your sincerity.
i need a hug. D:
觉得自己是多么的渺小
Saturday, August 07, 2010 / 9:47:00 PM
Feeling very very lethargic these few days. Guess i over stress myself. And too tired. Feeling unwell these few days. My head is pounding, really badly today. I puked. And it sucks when you're sick and you mum tell you that you are troublesome. Cause you puked on the floor and she has to mop the floor. Nah. It just sucks.
Didn't go school today. Went to SGH instead. Yeah, hand surgery department. THEY ARE REALLY SLOW! I booked an appointment, to get the queue number, and wait more -.- What's the point of booking appointment?! Things were...fine, i guess. Doctor says the same thing over and over again. Yes' there may be a lump. Yes' it might me lying on the nerve. Yes' it causes pressured nerves. Heard that many many times. Waiting for the next appointment date for ultra scanning and conduction nerve test then we will know the next step. Troublesomeeeee! SGH IS SO FARRRRRRRRRRRR!
/I'm learning to...
So tell me about the rumours
Are they only rumours, are they only lies?
biography
suddenly i'm famous and people know my name
*DEAD.JiaEn
one of us is lying, there's no use in trying, no need to pretend
I no longer want to live in darkness.
I want to see the light outside.
I order not to lose my way.
-The lost soul-
bolditalicunderlinestrikeout
Falling out of a perfect dream
coming out of the blue...is it true, is it over?
comments
you count down ten to one because when on zero you can smile
Did I throw it away? Was it you?
Did you tell me you would never leave me this way?
affiliates
down the beaten track, along the river with an empty bank
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